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Clarity: Self and Other

Andrew Graham Mckay, Lisbon, July 2024

Ok so let's imagine a simple example where two people agree to meet to do something, could be a work-thing, or a social hang-out, or whatever.  In IA we call this the contract, the agreement of a joint intention.  Any and all kinds of meeting/gathering/interaction etc. always have a contract, implicit or explicit, verbally expressed or not.

Imagine that Person A is on exceptionally good form, everything’s going well for them, they have a truly embodied remarkably good vibe.  Person B, on the other hand, is in a terrible place, totally stuck and negative and giving off a super bad vibe. 

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So the obvious question is: what’s going to happen to the vibe of each person after the two spend time together? Well, it depends….if each is totally up-front/honest/transparent about what’s going on for them and how they feel, both parties will likely leave the exchange with a higher vibration than that with which they entered - it's a win-win


If however Person B hides what’s going on for them, for whatever reason (often to protect the ego, because they don’t want to feel so small), then it is extremely likely that energy will be drained from both A and B.  Note that this strategic behaviour is bad for B as well as for A. In IA, we call any behaviour which is used to avoid feeling the truth of an interaction “strategic.”


Of course this simple example is not the whole story, we could equally consider another where the thing about Person A is that they have something to offer to help Person B (for real, not just sympathy or mental-body advice) and they hide it, again to protect the ego, this time because they don’t want to feel so big.  This is again strategic behaviour which will drain energy from both parties.


In IA we label this hiding from other  - in terms of body mapping, it's a behaviour which resonates with the descending colon in men and the ascending colon in women. 


Remember that this is happening at an energy level and it's perfectly possible, in fact commonplace, that the people concerned don’t have a clue about what’s going on for them and it's not that they’re consciously lying. In IA, when the strategic behaviour is subconscious, we call it hiding from self - a behaviour which resonates with the ascending colon in men, descending in women.

OK, so how can we get to clarity in this?  The short answer is you need to be able to feel what's happening at an energy level.  Presence and occupancy are key and of course compassion (not sympathy) will be required if you are actually wanting to help, setting boundaries might come into it, or it may be that you need to be prepared for confrontation.  The format for the meeting can also make a difference, as activities which involve the body (not just the mind) tend to help clarify what's happening. Intimacy also favours being seen (in other words, makes it harder to hide). 

However, the real point I’m making here is that you don’t have to worry so much about only hanging-out with “high vibrational people” or avoiding dense energy types, it's that you have to be concerned with what’s happening at an energy level, the degree of vulnerability in the interaction and the nature of the contract (i.e. why did you agree to it in the first place/what’s in it for you?).


So if you are finding that this is troubling you - that being with people, or certain people, or certain situations is draining energy from you - have a think about who’s A and who’s B? (i.e. who’s hiding what) and consider if you still like the nature of the contracts you’re signing.


PS: I should of course mention that it's perfectly possible, in fact desirable, that you pick up an energy from someone else that does correspond to you. The idea of life is precisely that energetic exchange of information take place between people.  So if something is missing from your life that your Higher-Self deems desirable (that means in your deepest self you also want/need it), then you will be open to receive that energy even in a situation in which, at the personalty level, you’d rather not go there. Sorry to break the news but as humans, at an energy level, we can’t compartmentalise ourselves. If this is the case for you, then the solution is obvious - figure out what you’re missing and go get it!

​In case you missed it, the previous quarterly article is here.

Contact me for further information about sessions and intensives in Lisbon.

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